drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
this is an emotional support booty call
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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