your room smells of hookers.
And success
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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