he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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