he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
