I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
