we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
