Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
