was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
