i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
