Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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