It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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