1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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