Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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