So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
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