You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
