He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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