white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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