I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Randomize
