Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
