2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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