the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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