I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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