Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
