You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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