If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
