Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize