My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
