okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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