At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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