You're so nebulous sometimes
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
