If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
