just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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