I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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