id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Panties = found
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
