My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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