i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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