even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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