Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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