I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
