the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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