his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
