I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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