We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize