Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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