If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
