can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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