he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
