You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
