But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Operation Purity has been aborted
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Randomize
