So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
