The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
