May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
