i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
