I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
