What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
