No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Randomize
