if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
NoShamevember. You game?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
