i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
