My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
