Do you still have your period?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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