i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
