You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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