Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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